In a small town (Martinsburg, West Virginia) 5 babies are born with tails. The local health department calls the FBI and Mulder and Scully are put on the case. They meet a woman named Amanda Nelligan (played by Christine Cavanaugh) who's had the most recent baby. She claims that the father of the baby is Luke Skywalker. Mulder and Scully think she's wacko but at the end of their conversation she askes if Luke could be the father of the other four babies. Scully gets all five babies' charts and finds that every one is missing part of chromosone 8. Stupidly enough, no one noticed this could have been passed down through one of the parents (a gene birth defect). All the 5 women have been seeing the same baby doctor, so the agents go to check it out. While there, Mulder sees a custodial worker with sagging pants. He sees a mark on his butt (and why was he looking there?) and chases him. The man get's caught and taken in for questioning. His name turnes out to be Eddie Van Blundht, Jr. (played by Darin Morgan) with a silent h. He admits to being the father of the 5 babies and gets very defensive when he's asked how he managed to have sex with 4 married women and how he convinced Amanda Nelligan that he was Luke Skywalker.
After the agents leave, a sheriff's deputy is assigned to write up all Eddie's information for his arrest record. Eddie metamorphoses into an exact image of the deputy and hits the surprised deputy over the head, knocking him unconscious. He escapes. The next morning Mulder and Scully question the deputy about Eddie. He says "He wasn't a guy, he was me!"
Mulder and Scully go to Eddie's house and meet Eddie Van Blundht, Sr. He claims that he hasn't seen Eddie for a few days, but he explains that Eddie got his tail removed when he was a kid. He calls Mulder "Agent Mulder" (Ha ha! His mistake!) and Mulder realizes that he didn't tell Eddie, Sr. his name. Both the agents realize at the same time that this is actually Eddie Van Blundht, Jr. and chase him. They don't catch him so they go search the house and find the father's mummified body in the attic. Scully takes it to a lab and finds that there's stryated muscle tissue all over the body, which explains how Eddie can shape shift. Mulder accidentally breaks off the preserved tail from the body just as Scully says that "Luckily the body is still preserved and intact". Scully doesn't notice and keeps talking. Mulder balances the tail as best he can so it looks like it's still connected to the body, makes an excuse, and rushes out the door. When the door closes the tail falls off, leaving a very perplexed Scully.
Meanwhile, one of the other 5 women's husband rushes into the house wearing different clothing than he had been wearing that morning. He runs into the bathroom and closes the door. His wife knocks on the door, but he tells her he's fine and will be out in a second. Then, a few minutes later, her real husband comes home and they both walk slowly towards the bathroom. Before they can open the door, it swings open, and Mulder is inside.
Mulder walks into Amanda Nelligan's hospital room. He shows her a picture of Eddie Van Blundht, Jr. and askes her a bunch of questions about him. We find out that Amanda had been going out with Eddie in High School but thought he was weird and didn't like him much. The only really good thing was that he liked Star Wars, but he was no Luke. Mulder then gives her a rose to congratulate her "on this blessed event" and leaves. When he exits, another Mulder is seen walking up the hall and he goes into Amanda's room. He finds out that he was just there. He realizes that Eddie must have morphed into him (which he did) and follows Eddie into the men's locker room. He handcuffs two scantily-clad men thinking they could be Eddie and calls Scully. He's then knocked out and locked in a room by a whole bunch of pipes.
Then, Scully comes to the hospital and finds the fake Mulder who says they should drop the case, so they do. Mulder is still locked in that stupid room while Eddie goes back to Washington with Scully and reports to Skinner. They leave work and "Mulder" goes back to his apartment. That night he visits Scully, bringing along a bottle of wine. They begin talking and drinking, and Scully gets a little drunk (she get's drunk easily, have you noticed that?) So she begins talking about her love life in high school and a lot of other stuff whith "Mulder" listening attentively. He then tries to kiss her, which really surprises her, and just as they're about to kiss (I mean a few centimeters away, really!) Ta-Da! Mulder, all sweaty and junk, rushes into her apartment and stops them from their almost kiss. Scully takes one look at "Mulder" and jumps of the couch. Eddie morphs back to himself and is put in jail.
Later on, Scully and Mulder visit Eddie. He tells Mulder that he should live a little and that he's a looser. Mulder leaves the room, and on the way out, Scully assures him that no, he's not a looser. Oh how sweet.
I betcha by now you're probably asleep, dead, or both. I probably took all the joy out of this episode. Please forgive.
"His name is Luke Skywalker. He's what's known as a Jedi Knight."-Amanda Nelligan
"The 'h' is silent..."-Eddie Van Blundht
"You're a damn good lookin' man."-Eddie Van Blundht to Mulder